Surprise me.

 

Well, I’ll give it to them: they certainly did that.

Here you have it, folks: The episode that launched a thousand Claddagh rings. I’m not even ashamed—I had one myself. Two, actually. My mom gave me one once she resigned herself to the fact that I was hopelessly in love with a fictional vampire. The pandering worked, okay?!

If you spend any kind of time with me, you wouldn’t take me for the sigh-y, romance-loving, love conquers all kind of girl, and for the most part, you’d be right. But that’s now, after Joss Whedon ripped my heart out, hollowed it out, did some kind of paso doble on it and then shoved it haphazardly back in my chest. Because that’s what he does. The writing thing’s just a hobby, really.

After living on the Hellmouth for a year (?), Buffy should really be careful what she wishes for, because clearly, the Hellmouth has a warped idea of “birthday gifts.”

Behold. Killy Smurf.

She also gets a Drusilla that’s alive, and a deceiving, deceitful deceiver of a computer teacher.

I knew something was up when she got our national pastime wrong. It’s baseball, FYI.

Anyway, since this is a two-parter, a lot of what goes on in this episode is really just drawing up the plans for the building that will be Innocence. Not to say that the setup isn’t important, because it is!

If we’re looking at show mythology (always a good time), the Judge gives us a great clue: Drusilla and Spike stink of humanity. Soulless beings can “stink of humanity”?! I thought all that shit fucked off when the demon set up shop. I mean, that’s certainly what Angel and Giles said. What is a soul if it’s not a marker of humanity?

I know, I know!

A plot device. Badly defined. An amorphous concept roughly analogous to a conscience.

But hey, we’ll get to that. Probably in a soonish time frame.

Based on the show’s theme, however, this episode gives us another important rite of passage: Buffy’s first sexy tiems.

It’s undeniably brilliant that this episode is not the one titled Innocence, because Whedon—clever ginger that he is—knows that virginity =/= innocence. And that’s something we get to explore in the next review. I can’t fucking wait! Haha, get it? “Fucking” wait?

…Yeah, it’s late, sorry.

Stray observations:

• Shirtless Angel:
  

  Exact reaction.
• “What if Drusilla is alive? We never saw her body!” Uh… there wouldn’t be a body, Buff.
• Actually, Willow, it’d be closer to a “Freudian slip” than it would be “moxie.”
• I love you, Oz. I love you so much.
• Drusilla kinda annoys me. Am I the only one?
• “Vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale, Willow will fill you in.”
• “I know it’s hard to accept, at first.” “Actually, it explains a lot.” I LOVE YOU OZ.
• Xander’s future-Buffy fantasy is creeptastic.
• “This one is full of feeling; he reads.” Fuck you, Luk—er, Judge Guy.
• …Angel has a window across from his bed? Death wish much?
• First episode Angel says “I love you.” Took him long enough.
• Okay, this last scene, I… I have a couple of questions. I mean… When did Angel put on clothes? Is it like cramps, because sometimes I can’t even move when I have cramps, much less put on layers of clothes and stumble out into a rainy alley…

 

Innocence review will be posted sometime tomorrow, since I don’t like to leave two-parters hanging. See you then!